There
is no ideal time for a graduating senior to get married. Only you and your
partner know when it's right, no one else.
Marriage is more than just a ring and a piece of paper. It's a promise, a vow that you're committed to one another and no one else until the end of your days. Sure it's a vow that can and has been easily broken but it's there nonetheless. Without it, it's too easy for someone to just pick up and move on.
Marriage is more than just a ring and a piece of paper. It's a promise, a vow that you're committed to one another and no one else until the end of your days. Sure it's a vow that can and has been easily broken but it's there nonetheless. Without it, it's too easy for someone to just pick up and move on.
People
get married for a number of reasons. Some do it for children, some do it for
security, some do it for sex, some do it for commitment and some do it for
money. And yes, some do it for love. But I think the best reason why people get
married is for companionship, to have someone to share your experiences with
and through whom you can share their experiences, to grow old with, to take
care and be there for one another. Life can be lonely, so having a person who
loves you enough to commit to spending their one and only life with you is very
important and can be deeply moving. It's for support when times get tough and
to have someone to celebrate with when things go well. Companionship in a
marriage simply means having someone to share all the joys and pains in life.
Sure you can do that with someone who you're not married to, but the commitment
to each other means a lot. The commitment means you are dedicated to your
partner and only your partner. It says hands off to other people because you
are off the market.
The
decision to get married and the timing depend on several issues, there's
emotional commitment, security and protection, financial preparation and
societal status. I think one should get married when they are absolutely
certain that no one makes you as happy as your partner. You could find that
person at any age. There are no set rules. Just make sure you both are on the
same page and when that happens, pop the question.
As a
graduating senior, I will soon start considering marriage amongst other things
to deal with after graduation. Yes, the thought brings excitement and fear at
times. I constantly think about losing my individuality even though many people
tell me I can be myself and still be a married man. However, I've learned that getting
married when ready is a good idea. Once you've realized your goals and have
matured, then it's safe to bring in someone else who is going to support you
completely. My mother married my father in her mid-20s, and they just celebrated
their 25th anniversary. That seems to be a long marriage these days, but I
think it lasted because they had their priorities straight and recognized by
one another.
When then is the right time
to get married? Is there an ideal time?
When should you move from dating to being
husband and wife? Every relationship is different. Every couple has different
dynamics. You should get married when you feel the time is right. Not the
society, not your family, you. You should get married when:
You are totally, madly, completely, head
over heels in love. Not one-sided, only when it is
reciprocated. You feel she is the one. There is no one better than her for you.
No one gets you like she does. You feel you’ve been in the dating circle long
enough and if you let her go, you’d be the biggest loser on earth.
As a graduating senior, you are mature enough to understand what
marriage really means. When you are in love and ready for commitment. When you
are responsible enough to take care of another person, support her financially,
and emotionally. You should understand that it is a big move and would mean
sharing your life with someone till the day you die.
You are in a real relationship where both of
you are level-headed people, who respect each other. You have arguments
and fights, but you deal with them like adults, talk it
out, not jump up and down like six-year olds. You know disagreements are part
of your life. There’s no running away. You are a team. No one is superior to
the other. You’re honest and open with each other and share everything, all
your dreams and insecurities, and even your failures.
When you feel you’re ready. You have waited long enough. You’re settled
in your life and work. You know your goals and aspirations. You know what is to
have a family, have a child. You’re not driven by societal or family pressures,
or the fact that you’re aging quickly. You have come to this decision based on
your feelings and thoughts.
Marriage should not be
entered in lightly, but we do so often anymore. Its best you wait for the right
time. But if you are going to wait for the right time; do not wait for too
long; the time will never be 'just right'. Start where you
stand, and work with whatever tools you
may have at your command, and better
tools will be found as you go along.